Top 7 things that are cheaper than Gareth Bale

7. A luxury apartment in The Shard – £50m

The Shard caused jaws to drop when it opened its doors to investors earlier this year. With only 10 apartments available to wealthy buyers, demand was expected to be high for the prestige pads. The asking price ? £50m. Why spend all that money on a footballer when you could buy eye-dropping views across London from one of the tallest buildings in Europe? You could almost buy two.

6. The entire Monopoly board five times – £17.34m

For nostalgic property investors, portfolios do not get more impressive than buying big in Monopoly: not just Mayfair or Park Lane, but the entire thing. Research from earlier this year found the prices of Monopoly in 2013 were much higher than when the game was first created. The total cost of every square? £17,339,895. Or, to put it in Tottenham terms, 4.95 Gareth Bales.

5. Bugatti Veyron – £4m

Classic cars are a popular form of alternative investments, giving buyers the chance to drive even faster to the bank. The world’s most expensive car is currently the Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Super Sport. The 8 litre engine with 1200 horse power and a top speed of 415 km/h has an estimated price of £4 million. Instead of picking up a British midfielder, you could buy 21 of these and still have change leftover for some petrol.

4. A giant panda – £7.35m

In 2011, Edinburgh Zoo arranged the arrival of two giant pandas from China. Two years on and Tian Tian is now expecting a baby. How much does it cost to secure the continuation of an endangered species? According to The Guardian , the zoo had to pay £640,000 every year for 10 years for the animals. Combined with the cost of a home (£250,000) and food (£70,000 a year), the panda shopping bill clocks in at £7.35m. As far as ethical investment go, the rewards certainly outweigh the costs and would feel far more satisfying than a trophy at the end of a football season. Besides, you could afford 11 anyway – enough for a whole team of pandas.

3. Tim Hortons’ yacht – £12.8m

The former owner of Canadian coffee giant Tim Hortons, Ron Joyce, put his luxury yacht up for sale this week . The 82-year-old billionaire’s 49-metre super boat boasts a cruising speed of 17 knots, a Jacuzzi and a full-time crew of 10 people, including a gourmet chef. He snapped it up for $30 million in 2008. His price now? A more modest £12.8 million. Joyce is unconcerned about the loss in value, though: after all, it is only 14.88% of Gareth Bale’s value.

2. Tate and Lyle’s mansion – £65m

Gareth Bale’s transfer fee matches the price of the most expensive house in UK history (Updown Court, selling for £75 million in 2011 ) so it more than covers the cost for this 15-bedroom mansion in Hampstead. But it comes with a tasty history: it was originally built in 1910 as the London home for William Lyle of the Tate & Lyle family. Spanning 27,000 square feet in a 2.5-acre estate, this £65 million mansion is worth three quarters of a Gareth: a sweet deal.

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1. Your own private island – £55.9m

Isla Encantadia may sound like a mouthful, but the 67.5 hectare island will leave your jaw hanging anyway. An hour’s flight from Metropolitan Manila, the island in the Philippines is on the market for £55.9m. Before the transfer window opened, that amount seemed out of reach. Now, it seems perfectly reasonable. After all, which would you rather have: Gareth Bale or your own private paradise?

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